Monday, November 22, 2010

It's a MYSTERY!!

THE CRIME:

It was a dark and stormy night (it REALLY was!). I walked into the kitchen to get the dessert I had labored over the phone to prepare when I felt my stomach sink......or maybe it just grumbled in ruined anticipation. Somebody had eaten all the chocolate sauce that came with the Chocolate Dunkers from Pizza Hut!! I could not let anybody get away with such a dastardly deed in my house!






THE SUSPECTS:
CONNER
Age:10
Aliases: Conner Bonner, Little Man
Motive: He's the oldest and tired of having to share everything with younger siblings. If he acted quickly, he wouldn't have to share the precious chocolate!!






JUDE
Age: 7
Aliases: Jubby, Bubby, Jub-Jub, Jubbers, The Dude
Motive: He has been in a slightly grumpy mood all day. Would there be a more perfectly wicked way to spread the grumpiness than depriving the family of chocolaty happiness?






ASHER
Age: 5
Aliases: Asher Basher, Asher-Bob Pajama Pants
Motive: Everybody else gets to enjoy all sorts of yummy desserts. Sadly, there are so many that he cannot. But....he can and will enjoy chocolate sauce!! Let the masses leave his beloved chocolate alone and go eat all of their fancy ice creams and puddings!





AVERY
Age: 2
Aliases: Mavis, Averykins, Baby
Motive: Chocolaty goodness is "Mummy, mummy!!!" (in Avery-speak that means (Yummy, yummy")







THE CLUES:
BARBARA MANATEE
Significance: This is Avery's favorite toy at the moment. Barbara does everything that Avery does - she sleeps when Avery sleeps, eats what Avery eats, gets hugs and kisses when Avery does, gets her diaper changed laying down beside Avery, etc. I found a soaking wet Barbara smeared with chocolate thrown haphazardly into the washing machine. Did Avery try to clean her beloved Barbara, or did one of her brothers plant this evidence to try to pin their crime on the cute little sister that won't get in as much trouble anyway?


CHOCOLATE HAND PRINT
Significance: This was found in the bathtub. Based on it's size, it clearly belongs to either Avery or Asher, through which was hard to tell because it was a little smeared. Did it come from Avery trying to wash Barbara, or from Asher trying to clean off his hands and plant Barbara before he got caught?






THE SMOKING GUN:

SURVEILLANCE VIDEO
Mystery solved!! Little Miss Avery was caught in the act on film. Notice the chocolate covered hand and Barbara Manatee in the lower right corner. To add salt to our wounds.....I see NO remorse whatsoever on that cherubic face!! I guess the time has come for me to sit down with Avery and have the talk about desire, cravings, and the need for chocolate. *sigh* They grow up so fast!





THE SENTENCE:
A THOROUGH BATH
Perhaps that was what she was after all along - we will never truly know her motivations, but at least I can sleep easy tonight.

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